Three times in my life I have experienced dramatic weight loss. I was praised for my accomplishment and told how good I looked. I got noticed when I walk into a room. I got to wear zippy new clothes that showed off my beautiful figure. I finally arrived at the point I had longed for and I would be content now for the rest of my life? Wrong! I found myself restless and uncomfortable. All the simple things I used to delight in were no longer enjoyable to me. Lost to me was the immense pleasure of sitting at a table reading while I ate. I could not focus on my same corny tv favorites and I couldnt settle in just sitting around with a friend. When I went out, if I was not in view of a minimum amount of people at one time I felt abandoned. I longed for the fulfillment of a passion which had no name, and worst of all, had no apparent hope of ever being quenched. I had lost my satisfaction in being just a humble common schmoo. I am not trying to discourage anyone from losing weight and anyone who even tries to do so is to be applauded. For health reasons it is the best thing one can do. I am only saying that if the dream is for emotional gratification and guaranteed happiness, it does not always produce the result intended. Much probably has to do with body chemistry. Food for me is a tranquilizor. When I have a full tummy all I want in the world is to be cozy, physically comfortable and to feel the sleepy gratitude of feeling that way. If someone came along with a mind blowing opportunity for me at that point, I would probably shrink deeper into myself and motion for them to keep on looking. The last thing I need when I am feeling so peaceful is to be challenged. If, however, my metabolism has quickened and my mind has been psyched into movement and thinking thin, I would jump at the chance. And thats the trouble. In our new state we feel destined for something really big to come along, will accept nothing less, and then it doesnt present itself. We feel that we are dressed up for a party with no where to go. We are set up for a certain incident which will promise us a reward for our new selves and that incident simply does not come along. We screen our environment for leads, scheming where and when to be at certain times to optimize our chances of being noticed. We feel all of our splendor is going to waste. Life appears to be endlessly banal and we become frustrated. We even become desperate. We remember back to the days when a nice big submarine sandwich piled with all sorts textures and flavors and substance was all we needed to be happy. We crave that snug feeling we used to have with ourselves when we were alone and not being disturbed. We were creative. We were at peace. Now all we do is fling our beautiful selves from one place to another, aching for the appreciation we so desperate desire. Without that attention we are bereft and we feel like everyone is at a party to which we have not been invited. We even feel resentful when lunkheads dont give us full credit for what we have attained. So please be encouraged to continue losing weight. Just be sure to anticipate a change in your body chemistry and in your expectations of life. Your chemistry has changed, your appearance and your basic orientation with your environment has changed. Your desires are different. There are new things to feel disappointed about. Dont assume that when your goal is finally reached you will be automatically trouble free and will experience endless bliss. Life is full of surprises and this is one that you should prepare for. |
